So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
