Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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