He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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