i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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