Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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