alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
