guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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