Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
