So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
