If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
God, I missed his penis.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
