You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
