True but thats because hes a fetus.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
