you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
