Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
