found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
