1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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