I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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