I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
