Don't you send me to vm
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
