Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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