She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
