He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
