There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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