I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
