you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize