This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
