i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
