can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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