May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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