This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
