So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
