Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
