I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
