dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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