You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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