Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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