I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
