what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
