I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
