Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
