yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
