I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
