Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
