he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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