no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I pour the whiskey from now on
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
