great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
