There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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