i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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