Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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