I miss vodka workout Fridays
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
